young woody 12:25 Wed Sep 27
Worst one night stand!
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Come on then what's your stories SONS
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
The_Phantom
12:31 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Your Mum
BOOM !
sorry, couldn't resist
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Steven P
12:38 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Your dad
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Northern Sold
12:42 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Back in my younger days a pretty little blonde 19 year old (I was 5 years older than her)... was told the next morning that I was her 1st white bloke she had slept with...... :-(
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Willtell
12:48 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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And you forgot to mention Soldo that her next question was "did your cock actually enter me?"
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Eggbert Nobacon
12:48 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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anyone got the story of the Newcastle bloke, his mate and another mates mum?
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El Scorchio
1:03 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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http://www.afc-chat.co.uk/forums/index.php?showtopic=25026
There you go.
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bruuuno
1:22 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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met a lovely little French Algerian sort at a psytrance night when I was off my nut, was all over her in the club and in the cab home.. got home to find the old honky tonk was fast asleep and no way was he waking up. Bitch punched me in the head and walked out!
Also had another one where the bird left in the morning and stole my shoes..wtf
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Spandex Sidney
2:11 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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bruuuno 1:22 Wed Sep 27
Psytrance night? You deserve to be impotent
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El Scorchio
2:15 Wed Sep 27
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No worries!
Such a comedy read.
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Mad Dog
2:22 Wed Sep 27
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I had a one night stand that went terribly wrong. I've been married to her for 8 years now
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Northern Sold
2:32 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Best one I know is a good mate of mine who was seeing a local girl who is well... bit of a gangsters moll (she is in that new Essex boys flick)... he knew who she was seeing but was till having a dabble.. he pops round her flat one morning thinking that Psycho is out on business ... getting his end away when suddenly they hear the door go.... quick as a flash my mate is out of the 1st floor window stark bollock naked dangling from the window ... jumps down ... and legs it up the street in broad daylight ... now this is before mobile phones... so he's hiding in bushes etc trying to think who is in.. 1st house he tries of one of our mates... not in... tries another one round the corner... luckily he's in... the loon in this time decides to keep all his clobber... Timberland boots, new ralph shirt and then decided to track my mate down and total his car and then nick his car radio... we reckon he got away lightly !!
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Gavros
2:40 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Was talking to my mate and he says you wouldn't believe the state of this bird I shagged after pulling her down the Ilford palais last week. Come the next Saturday were down there again and he points her out. Yep, she was a fat minger. Anyway come the end of the night my mate had fucked off home and I was at a loose end....who should turn up but old fatty. She says do you want to come back to mine... bit of soul searching so I think yeah fuck it. Drives me back to a flat in Bromley by bow in a battered old Volvo. Spent the rest of the night putting it into the cavernous minge and basically hating myself for doing so in a single bed in a bedroom festooned with rave posters. Left that morning vowing to never stir a mates porridge and never to fuck a fatty again. And I haven't.
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SnarestoneIron
3:00 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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I was out with a friend and we agreed if we met 2 girls, if one got off with one of the girls, the other had to take her friend. Well, my mate pulled the fit one and I take the fat one. We went back to the fat girls house, I went upstairs with mine and he stayed downstairs with the fitty. I'm just getting into my stride, trying not to be sick at the sight of her, when my mate pops his head round the door and says we have to go...so I jump off, get dressed and follow him downstairs. I get downstairs and he is still dressing. Fatty comes storming into the lounge and asks what the fuck is happening. The fitty, called Arlene, says John has come all over her before he even managed to get his dick in her. At this fatty calls me al sorts of names and shoves me backwards. I fall onto a glass coffee table that shatters under me - bear in mind this is her parents house, they are away for the night. My mate pulls me up and says leg it! I follow him out the door. We run down the road and think we've got away. Then we hear a revving car coming after us. Fatty has jumped in her xr3i and is coming for us. She tries to ram us against St John's Hospital, Chelmsford, wall! We jump out of the way just in time and leg it again! We didn't stop running this time and never saw them again!
Anyway, next night is karaoke down the pub, and we get my friend up to sing Coming In The Air Tonight! Following night is a disco. Yep, we played Come On Aileen for him!
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gph
3:42 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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I was too drunk to give consent. she wasn't bad looking, but was obviously suffering from a dodgy life-style.
Her drug dealer came round before we got up.
I spent a good few months worrying I might have caught something awful, but no symptoms emerged.
Been considering a rape charge ever since.
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joe royal
3:53 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Me and a mate pulled two pissed up German birds and ended up having a bit of a swap up . Nothing like what happens in those films my mates watch , when it dawned on us what was happening we just fell about laughing.
Joys of being young I suppose.
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Lee Trundle
4:15 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Ended up pulling a bird on a Club 18-30's reunion party at Butlins quite a few years ago.
Everything was going great, kissing and groping. She invites me back to her chalet, which was a much better option than her staying at mine with all my mates around.
We arrive at hers and she opens the door and her whole family (mum, dad, younger brother) are sat there. Immediately I knew I wasn't going to get a shag out of it and I would have been wasting my time.
She started introducing me to her family and all I could think about was how badly this was going. I sat down, made small talk, had a cup of tea made for me, and all I could think about was getting back out there to get back on the piss with my mates.
So I went to the toilet, climbed out of the window and made my escape. As far as I'm aware, that was the only bathroom in their chalet and I had locked the door. I've always wondered how long they would have been shouting and banging at the door before it dawned on them I wasn't in there.
I kicked myself for days for not just bringing her back to mine.
The next night I ended up bumping into and chatting to Boy George about his appearance in the A Team, and all my mates swear he was grooming me up, which they then took the piss out of me the whole time we were there.
It wasn't my most successful weekend away.
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chim chim cha boo
4:19 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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When I was in a band we all went out on the piss together a couple of nights a week and inevitably one of those nights would be the Friday night rock club at the Astoria.
Our guitarist was a big, good looking bloke with long blonde hair, the epitome of a rock star. He was an absolute girl magnet and never failed to get some great looking rock chick with big tits back to his in leafy Totteridge.
Now we're old and half-dead we were chatting over a pint about the old days and I mentioned the Astoria and he said 'I pulled some bird in there one Friday night who turned out to be a really convincing tranny. I honestly didn't have a clue until they told me when I got home'.
I laughed my head off and said 'so what did you do when they told you'?
He said '...well what COULD I do? I'd already paid for the taxi!'
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joe royal
4:32 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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Lee.
Are we meant to believe the bird went to an 18-30s thing with her family?
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Lee Trundle
4:35 Wed Sep 27
Re: Worst one night stand!
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You can believe whatever you want to believe, joe.
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